You can’t.
I’m sorry if that’s not the answer you were expecting, but trust me, it can’t be done. Sure, you can create a Spotify playlist full of your favorite songs, and you can even create separate playlists for each stage of the wedding, but there are too many intangibles in play, and too many unpredictable circumstances that will crop up, for any D.I.Y. wedding music plan to ever have a chance to succeed.
You probably won’t ruin your wedding if you forego a DJ and create your own playlists, but you are absolutely going to have a lackluster affair. At best, you’ll achieve half the amount of fun that was potentially possible, and at worst you’ll kill the party before it even starts.
How Do I Save Money on My Wedding?
You are better served to D.I.Y. just about any other aspect of your wedding than the music. A potluck dinner in lieu of a caterer will be less detrimental to your event’s overall success than will be relying on playlists. You’d be better off nixing the videographer and asking guests to take short videos throughout the evening for you to edit together into a document of the day.
If you honestly evaluate a typical wedding, you’ll find that the ceremony and the party after dinner are the two elements that really matter. Everything in between is secondary, as the primary focus for everyone between “I do” and “let’s dance” is socializing. Family members are catching up with one another, as people who may not have seen one another in 20 years reconnect. While some people talk with old friends, other people are making new friends.
Cocktails, flowers, dinner, cake, and the rest provide for a festive, traditional backdrop to this, but that’s what it is, a backdrop. It’s what happens after dinner ends, and the lights go down and the dance music starts, that dictates whether this will be a night your guests remember forever, or “just another wedding.”
What Do the Numbers Say?
Let’s look at some hard data. The following numbers are aggregated from over two dozen surveys of brides and their guests, conducted by a number of wedding websites and publications.
• 63% of wedding guests do not remember what was served for dinner, but do remember the entertainment.
• 81% of wedding guests say the thing they remember most about a wedding was the entertainment.
• 72% of over 5,000 brides surveyed after their wedding say they wish they had spent more time planning the entertainment.
• 98% say if they could go back, they would allocate more of their budget to the entertainment.
You did not read that wrong. 98% of over 5,000 brides surveyed said that they while they would not have spent any more money on their wedding, they wish that more of what they did spend went to the entertainment, and less went to everything else.
Don’t Forget, It’s a Party
The DJ and the MC make or break a wedding. The entertainment is what turns an ordinary event into a fun party, and it’s what most guests remember years later. Unless you bring in a Michelin Star chef to craft a legendary menu for your guests, nearly no one is going to remember what they ate at your wedding. Neither will they remember what color the flowers were, or the cute decor you placed on the table with the guestbook. But they will remember the wedding where everyone danced and sang together until last call, or the wedding where the groom crowd-surfed over their head, or the wedding where even the oldest guest was on the dance floor, walker in hand, busting a move. They’ll also remember the boring wedding where everyone left early because the entertainment was ill-conceived, i.e. a Spotify playlist.

How Bad Can It REALLY Be to D.I.Y. My DJ?
Let’s examine some of the drawbacks of taking a D.I.Y. approach to your wedding entertainment.
1. The Drunken Takeover
Invariably, someone, probably someone drunk, and almost certainly someone with questionable taste in music, will at some point decide they know exactly what everyone wants to hear, and they’ll head over and, right in the middle of a song, switch to the song they think will take things to another level, but will, in fact, kill the vibe. At that point, another guest will come over and chastise them. “No, no, Oswald, that’s not what we want to hear!” And on will come an even worse song. At that point, it becomes a free-for-all, as others come up to change the song, and guests will head for the door.
2. No Mixing = No Dancing
Don’t underestimate the need for a DJ who can mix songs together. You and your guests don’t want to hear all 5 minutes of a given song. Sometimes you want just a couple verses, other times you want the full song. And when the song ends, you don’t want to wait for it to fade out, and for another song to fade in. You also need the tempo to remain consistent. If this all sounds technical, well, it is. But it’s also incredibly important! The best DJs mix in a way that keeps a steady groove going, and they blend seamlessly from one song to another. This is what keeps people on the dance floor, and how a great DJ builds the energy in the room. Spotify can’t do this. Nothing can, except an actual DJ.
3. Spotify Can’t Read the Room
A DJ can read the room. A playlist can’t. You can line up 20 great dance songs in a row only to have them fall flat when you press play, because your guests were in the mood for 20 different great dance songs. There’s no way to anticipate this in advance. The only way to successfully play for a group of people, especially a group as diverse as what one finds at a wedding, is by reading the crowd, and choosing the next song while the current song plays, based on what is happening live, in that moment.
4. Great DJs Take (Some) Requests
What’s the best way to read the room? Listen to what the guests are saying. Great DJs take requests. The best possible way to decide what to play next is to play what someone just asked you to play. This of course involves using judgement, as a DJ isn’t a jukebox, and playing any and every request willy nilly won’t work. But a professional DJ knows when a request is valid, and when it isn’t. You’re playing “Uptown Funk” and someone wants to hear Daft Punk? Yeah, that’s probably going to work. “Play some Jello Biafra next!” Yeah, probably not. Or maybe yes? Read the room!
5. The MC Factor
When is a DJ not a DJ? When he’s an MC. That’s right, your DJ is also the voice that guides your guests through the day. He lets them know when it’s time to sit down, move from one area to another, or hit the buffet. He’ll introduce you into the reception hall, bring you onto the dance floor for your first dance, and invite your father to give a toast. Most of all, he’ll adjust on the fly to all the myriad things that can, and will, go wrong on your wedding day, and make sure it all happens behind the scenes, and that no one notices anything.
But MY Friends are FUN!
I’m sure they are, but the bottom line is that for every wedding there is a minimum and maximum level of potential fun, which is based on the attitudes and preferences of the guests. Some groups are outgoing, dancing, party types, while others are more of a low-key mingling bunch. Both groups can have fun, but neither will have the maximum amount of fun possible without a live human DJ and MC there to make it happen.
Resist the temptation, and don’t try to D.I.Y. your wedding music. You only have one chance to get it right!